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Monday, July 31, 2006

finally one of the tests is over...but theres nothing to be happy about because 3 more tests are coming up...i am damn stress over the fact that i am not able to study...i am so not motivated...yup...

i dont like the idea of temperature fluctuation...i dont want to get ill...my mind is really going to burst and i guess one fine day...i may just collapse...i am just too tired to know and do anything...i just want to float on the surface of the sea...hopefully...i can slowly drift to where i really belong...

i just feel that everything is weird...i've got lots of things to blog about...but whenever i enter this page...my mind becomes totally blank...and i just dont know why...why is this so?

i am starting to think that i am that kinda of person whom i make assumptions easily...thats not a very good thing to do...i knew it...and i am trying to kick off this bad bad habit...its not good to make assumptions about people too quickly...afterall...we have no rights to judge people...

school is still as sucky as ever except for the fact that my timetable for this week is shorter...i hate school when there is tests...friendship problems...and stuffs...i just want live happily and to the fullest...thats my objective for life...it looks simple...but in actual fact its very hard to achieve...not many people achieved that...i think?life is simple as far as i know...but we tend to make everything complicated and mess up everything...its like a jigsaw puzzle...actually a jigsaw puzzle is just a big piece of picture being cut into smaller pieces and messed up and put into a box...and when we bought that box of jigsaw puzzle...we have the responsibility to piece everything together to become a complete picture...so its the same thing for life...when we messed it up...we have to fixed it back again...although it takes time...but i think if theres a will...theres a way?but in the first place...why must our hands be so itchy to cut up the complete picture and then try very very hard to piece it back again?whats the matter with human huh?

Rachael

writtern @10:46 PM

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Sunday, July 30, 2006

this is my pet crab...yupps...its a real crab...

i have lots of things to do...but i am so not motivated to do it...sometimes i really feel like ignoring everything ...so that i can live peacefully and happily...i am confused by lots of things recently...i am letting my mind run wild now...haha...i dont know the reason why...but i just feel like doing it...

exams are coming up...and i think my brain is being clogged up with those weird preceptions that i am going to do badly for the exams...i just dont understand why they dont believe that i will really flank my maths quiz paper?i am quite sure for this time i will fail the paper...because i made a lot of stupid mistakes and there was this 8 mark question that i left it blank...

by the way...i dont like the idea of being a lamer...a full time lamer i guess?haha...it really irks me when i am serious about some stuffs and people call me lamer...i just cant stand it sometimes...but nevertheless...due to my tolerance...i didnt say anything to them...haha...

To my dearest bee pig...you are really smart man...you got it right...haha...i guess you are right...a jerk is a jerk...cold blooded and heartless guy...these are all the words to describe him...haha...

everyone is getting hardworking now...and that adds to my guiltiness...is there such a word?if yes...did i spell wrongly?i admit i am just bad bad bad at spelling since young...haha...

i dont sound like a kid ok?at least not a 15 year old...i am 17...heh...

Rachael

writtern @10:27 PM

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Saturday, July 29, 2006

i want the U1 yamaha piano...but its really expensive $9177..oh my god...and i heard that my old piano can only trade in for like maximum 1000 dollars...haha...so sad...

went kbox today with family...overall it was not very fun because the person kept on entering our room when i was singing and thats very irritating...after that went shopping around orchard and then went home...nothing speacial...haha...i just received a call from xiao an...i didnt hear his voice before i think?he sounded so adult and he said my vioce was kinda childish...oh my god...he is only 2 years older than me...so if i am childish...haha...you know what i mean huh?haha...he told me he has those ndp tickets for today and he only told me yesterday night that he got the tickets...i want to go...who has tickets?...i love the fireworks...haha...

4tests coming up...sighs

Rachael

writtern @11:44 PM

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Friday, July 28, 2006

haha...the grass on the other side is always greener i guess?haha...i had a very tiring day today...finally my long awaited friday has arrived...yeah...hap test sucks...i had totally forgottten how to go about writing about the mucocillary thing in the respiratory tract...i guessed i concentrate too much on the blood clotting part...today's pipc lecture was the best man...haha...the lecturer was so funny and so lame...and he didnt even laugh when he was joking...but i think he wasnt joking...maybe that was just his usual self...haha...

happy birthday siti..opps i should say happy 18th brithday...haha...

yeah...no cca for me tomorrow...so i shall enjoy tomorrow...be it at home or outside...haha...

examinations are approaching...i think so?in about one month's time or less than that...around there...hopefully i will pass...

Rachael

writtern @10:18 PM

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Tuesday, July 25, 2006

i haven been blogging for days(is it?)...partly because my computer sucks and that i am just lazy and too tired to blog...just realised that school isnt as fun as i think with all the heavy workloads and the never ending quizzes and tests...i think i have screwed up my maths and biochem...because i couldnt really remember what i have studied...its like a waste of my efforts...haha...but not really wasted beacuse i haven been putting in much efforts yet...my friends are all mugging i guess...as some of them have asked me to join their study groups...but sometimes i wondered it is a study group or a meet the friends session...we usually talk much more than we studied...and its always like that without fail...

i felt so bad as i refused to give my blog url to my poly friends...only clemmy got my address i think...i am sorry...but i just dont feel comfortable to give you guys now...haha...

exams are coming up...

Rachael

writtern @11:09 PM

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Saturday, July 22, 2006

theres always so much i want to blog about...but when i reached this page...my mind is always blank...i am just lost...very very lost...

i kept thinking about those secondary 3 days this few days...my mind just refuse to erase those memories...its nice at that moment...but it hurts me now just to think back on those days...actually i have almost forgotten about the whole incident...until i saw someone that day which brings all these memories back again...i knew its impossible and i have always know that since ages ago...anyway i think its better to just treat everything as a beautiful dream...and its time to for me to really wake up...i thought i have woke up long time ago...but i was wrong...totally wrong...i just realised that it was just another dream...haha...i am just dreaming that i am in another draem...whatever...dreams are not reality...thats what i had always say to console myself...haha...

i am not always lame la...haha...

Rachael

writtern @7:39 PM

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Friday, July 21, 2006

maths and oc quiz sucks...i think i will fail badly?because my area of circle can become area of sphere..i thought area of circle only appear in primary school so i didnt think much of it..well...i am so silly...haha...

tomorrow...i am not going for cca because i dont feel very well...haha...

sighs...when will my examination timetable be out?i need to change the exam time for my piano exams...i dont want them to crash on the same day...if that is going to happen...i wont do well for both...thats for sure...i knew it myself...

finally oc and maths are over...by the way...i just reached home not long ago...like 11?haha...

Rachael

writtern @11:58 PM

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Monday, July 17, 2006

today is a boring day for me...i went to school as usual nothing much happened...except that bc tutorial was kinda nosiy and the teacher was kinda pissed off by them...not me...i was paying attention ok?because i thought i've got nothing much to talk about early in the morning 9am...i was still feeling very sleepy and maybe i was dreaming i guessed...actually not really paying attention but at least i was not making any noise to pollute the classroom...haha...

i thought i have found my true friends in poly finally but i guessed...i will have to keep this assumption first...haha...felt really weird when amy came to join us...haha...

Rachael

writtern @11:32 PM

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Sunday, July 16, 2006

finally i have received my teens magazine...i have been waiting for so long...i thought they were gonna con me...haha...anyway...i think i will have a busy week...4tests are coming up...tue csas...thur bc...fri oc and maths...i hate it...its freaking tired to study for so many tests...

i dont understand a single thing about life...i find it difficult to comprehend everything and i dont wish to do so too..haha...

Rachael

writtern @11:03 PM

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Saturday, July 15, 2006

hihi....i haven been blogging for days...because sometimes i really dont know how to express myself in words...maybe just in words...i think i can express myself better in other things...such as conversations?music?i think so...haha...sometimes words are just so hard to express...haha...

anyway...i haven been quite busy this few days...timetable are quite packed...and i've heard that sa are coming up in 6 weeks time?oh i am not really sure....

a lot of things had happened in our class recently...firstly, alex and siti broke up...because of various reasons such as alex thought other guy likes siti...whatever...but i dont think thats the main reason...maybe i think that the love between them is just not strong enough to withstand problems...its too fragile...before they broke up they were so loving and after a while they broke up...i wondered whats love sometimes...i just asked alex a few days ago if he still have feelings for siti...he said just a little little bit...he had said that he loved her very much before...its too shocking to me i guessed...the feeling changed so much in such a short time...its like you said you like someone today and tomorrow...you decided not to like that someone anymore...is the love so worthless or you didnt mean it when you said it or you have said it too many times that you think that its nothing?haha...i am really confused...i have seen so many real life stories in my life about relationships...where it was so sweet and loving in the beginning and it turned really bad in the end...even me myself experienced it before...and that makes me petrified...i dont know what to do now except to retreat...haha...because all these things make me really no confident...haha...anyway i saw that someone again on friday...he was talking to fy and he saw me...but he didnt even say hi to him...oh ok i wasnt expecting much...but at least a smile to show that i am present there...and by the way i was just beside fy...he just treat me as a transparent...ok finally i know what kinda person are you and i will treat you as a transparent from now on...haha...joshua...in case you are reading this blog...i think you know who i am referring to right?haha...哈哈

Rachael

writtern @5:35 PM

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Sunday, July 09, 2006

i just cant figure out why i am so hot tempered these days?haha...i get angry or upset over minute things...i even got so irritated when eugene asked me if there will be hap lab tomorrow...guess what did i say?"you dont have study guide meh?go check urself la...if study guide sae dun hab means dun hab..."...i know i sounded bad but i am really sorry...haha...please forgive me...i promise everyone i will change...haha...

one of my favourite hobby...sleeping...haha...

Rachael

writtern @9:54 PM

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i've blogged...i am too exhausted to write anything...i just know that i have used up all my energy and i need to charge...

Rachael

writtern @12:30 AM

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Friday, July 07, 2006

i felt so yucky in school today because of various reasons...firstly...i've got 6 lectures from 9 to 5...2 hours of oc can really kill all my brains cells...and another reason is because of that particular person whom i disliked since months ago...i dont know what to say about him...i just want to say that i am not bias against him or whatever...i just cant stand his rubbish...he talks a lot during lecture...pretending not to be listening(but he was)...treat tutorial as his private tuition...talk non stop to the tutor...which affected my understanding to the subjects...because he got such a thunderous voice which covered the tutor's voice...another thing is that...when the teacher asked a question...he would answer without giving others a chance to think...i hope that he can just shut his big mouth up one day...and another thing which irriate me that is...he likes to be with the smartest guy in the class...sucking up and sticking to him every minute and trying to say that:"oh i am a gay.." oh please stop it man...no one would believe you that you are a gay...you are trying to gain advantages from him...thats evil i think...haha..enough about him...

thinking back about those times when i was sad and felt like crying...i have always feel so silly...its like i dont feel it when i was sad...but when i think back..sometimes i really want to laugh out loud...laugh at my own silliness...haha...

another friday will be gone soon...i dont want to split class...

Rachael

writtern @8:17 PM

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Monday, July 03, 2006

life can be quite boring sometimes...i knew i have lots of tutorials for me to do...but i just dont want to do it...yeah...

Rachael

writtern @10:50 PM

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Sunday, July 02, 2006

happy bdae gal

we rox...

whose cake is nicer?this?or the one below?

ok firstly...can i know who is toya?haha...i dont know how to edit...and secondly...i am lazy to do so even if i know...haha...you just make do with it...anyway...went to eunice brithday party...not really a party i think...its just a get together...with like 6 friends?then we ate and open presents and chit chat...after that we went down to the playground...to play...haha...i love the swing...haven been playing for a long long time...haha...suddenly felt that i have returned to my childhood days where my cousins and i would be at the playground playing with the see saw and swing and picking saga seeds to play...how i wish i could turn back the time so that i could treasure those moments...haha...

after eunice party...i went home and went out again...this time to celebrate ah girl's birthday...actually just went to sakae for dinner...then they came to my house to cut the birthday cake and thats it...

its so not fair...haha...jc people have youth day holiday tomorrow...but poly dont have...sighs...life is so unfair!!!haha...

Rachael

writtern @9:55 PM

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Saturday, July 01, 2006

i miss u guys...u guys rox

shh...quiet...

e gal in black...lolx

i am back...finally...hey girls...thanks for today...i am so touched that you girls came to support me...haha...i realised that...i've got stage fright....and thats my stepping stone...yup...overall...it was ok...oh yup...and the taxi driver who drove us there was damn funny...haha...cracked jokes which are so so lame...haha...des was smart...he knew the answer...haha...anyway...this was my first and ever public performance...but it was a bit lame...haha...

qc and me bought a couple hp chain...it was nice...mine was pink and hers was blue...we've made a promise...haha...shhh...cannot reveal anything here...she is my dear ok...and i am her honey...but please...i am perfectly normal and i guess she is too...haha...both of us prefer guys to be our future partner...haha...so dont get it wrong...

i've come to a conclusion after careful observations that my friends get troubled very easily...haha...it seemed to me that their troubles are eternal...oh how can i help them?sometimes i am really unsure...whats my role in their life?haha...

never mind...tomorrow...i will be going to eunice birthday party at her house...actually it was meant to be a surprise...but i guess she knows about it?does she?whatever it is...i rather be the one who is sad...and not those people around me...that will be better for me i guess...

Rachael

writtern @10:53 PM